Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein 

"I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night."
—Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

Sometimes I hate change.

“When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.”

I thought it would be easier this time.

I thought i could go to work for the day and be alright.

I thought i wouldn’t fall apart. 

I thought i would be able to hold it together.

I thought i was done crying. 

Hell, I thought this day wouldn't come until winter. 

I thought wrong. 

There's no wagging tail. 

There's no patter of tiny feet.

There's no reason to open the patio curtains first thing in the morning. 

There's no reason to have a can of dog food in the fridge.

There's no one to say goodbye to when i leave. 

There's no greeting when i get home.

There's only dead silence and a hollow feeling. 

Rest in peace

This past weekend my parents were out for the day and happened to be in the town we used to live in. 

Naturally they decided to detour through our old neighbourhood and take a look at our old house as we’ve done so many times before. 

What greeted them was not what they expected. 

The windows are shattered, there are fences surrounding the entire house, the roof has completely collapsed, and the grass is nearly a foot high in places. Apparently it burnt in January and is still in this sad condition now. Evidently it also used to be a grow-op.  

My mom proceeded to take a few pictures (one of which is at the bottom of this post) and send them to my sister and i and it actually struck a chord i was not expecting to be struck. 

I felt such a sadness for this house that i spent six years of my childhood in. 

Six years. 

It’s been more than that since we left that home but i didn’t realize i still held such a deep affection for it.

The collapsed roof of my sisters bedroom and the living room just broke my heart.  

What did they do to my house? :(

I've officially been employed for about a month. 

I love the place and i love the people and i love the work most of the time despite it being very dirty. 

It's strange and sometimes it's scary - but it's good.

On one hand it feels like i've been working there for ages and on the other hand it feels like i just started. 

Today i did something that scared me. I had a job interview. 

I'm not going to lie, i'm glad it's over, but i'm glad i did it. 

Now i just sit waiting until she emails me back... 

- Blimey Cow

"If i cut you off, chances are, you handed me the scissors." - unknown

You know what i think is pathetic? 

That we have a “pledge” against bullying. 

And that there are lawyers in the States “rewarding” nominated students with MONEY for not tolerating bullying. 

That stories like Amanda Todd's are becoming more frequent. 

Since when are pledges and cash rewards necessary to be a decent human being? 

When did parents stop teaching their kids to be kind to EVERYONE regardless of race, gender, sexuality, beliefs etc etc etc. 

There will always be a reason to hate someone. There will always be someone you disagree with. 

But since when does that justify hate? 

When did kids become terrors? When did they become insensitive and heartless and so HATEFUL? 

When did parents start teaching their children that they’re better or worse than their peers because they’re different? 

While i believe only the smallest fraction of parents purposely spawn hate and disgust, how many parents are spawning these terrible traits just in the way they live their lives? The way they talk about other people, they way they treat other people. Bullying doesn’t stop when we graduate high school. We’re just told to “grow a pair” and deal with it. Our generation and those younger than us are learning hate from our ELDERS. Our parents- our grandparents even. If we want THIS generation to change, the generation that’s RAISING us needs to step it up and practice what they preach. In the words of Nelson Mandela, “No one is born hating another person.” If you don’t like where the younger generations are heading, if you don’t like where YOUR generation is heading - lead by example and stop complaining how it’s “society’s fault”. You are society. I am society. 

I’m sick of excuses. It won’t kill you to be kind. 

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”

― Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom

You can make excuses, or you can make progress.

Don't confuse activity with productivity.

"You do not owe them anything. Just because you know somebody, doesn't mean they deserve you in their lives."

The only power anyone ever has over you, is the power you give to them.

Determined to come out on top. To come out stronger.

You can never know how badly you messed me up. 

But it's my biggest pet peeve. How do you not know that.

One of each :)